Redneck Crazy
by Khyharah
Summary: Rumors and "knowing stuff" can lead to an interesting early morning visit! A/H, M for language


**A/N - **So I am in love with Tyler Farr. I don't know why but I am. This fic is inspired by his song "Redneck Crazy". I do not own that, nor "All My Ex's Live in Texas", "Good at Drinking Beer", "I Saw the Light", "Wish I Didn't Know Now", or "Brown Eyed Girl". Peter's "knowing shit" belongs to IdreamofEddy. And watch Peter, he's got a potty mouth! I have another Sam/Leah/Emily O/S that I was working on, but I didn't like the ending. Not a fan of the ending of this one either but eh. Drop me a line and tell me what ya think!

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

o.O.o

I drove my truck through the rolling hills of her neighborhood. She really thought she could get with this? I mean does she not realize who I am? I'm Peter fucking Whitlock. I know shit! And this? This I wish I didn't know, it is unacceptable.

Damn, now I'm using fancy words.

Ah man, what the ever loving fuck is this? A fucking base model Toyota Tacoma? I mean, if he was going foreign, he could've at least gotten a full size Tundra. Those things are bad ass. Of course, nothing compared to my jacked up Silverado, but then again, not much is.

The house is dark, so I assume they're in bed. Hell, it _is_ 3 AM. Not much to do at this time of night in the middle of the week. Excellent. I cut the lights as I pull straight up to her bedroom window. Grabbing the six-pack from my cooler in the back seat, I cut the lights back on bright and crank up the radio. As I step out of the truck, I hear movement inside the house. I climb on the hood of my truck and crack open the first can talking a large gulp before starting to sing along with the radio.

_Alllllll my ex's live in Texas  
And Texas is a place I dearly love to be…._

First can down! She flicked the light on and I lob the can at the shadows moving across the windows. Good Lord he is shorter than I thought. Of course, I only knew the fucker by acquaintance and reputation. Edward Stick Up My Ass Cullen. I don't give a fuck about your rich mommy and daddy, your beautiful family, or your God damn British accent. You done fucked with the wrong girl and pissed off the wrong guy!

_So hand me one mooooooooooooore  
That's what I'm here fooooooooooor  
I'm built for having a ball_

Good radio tonight. Perfect for my mood. Just sit here and annoy the piss out of Dickward. Ha! Beer #3 down. Hit his shadow head perfectly. 10 points!

Hey! There's only one shadow now. Huh. Suddenly her front door slams open and my girl (or at least who I thought was my girl) exits the house. "WHAT THE HELL PETER?! You better be fucking glad I don't have neighbors or by fuck the cops would already be on your ass! Now WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"

Fuck but she's gorgeous when she's pissed! Her brown eyes are practically sparking with rage, her hair is sleep mussed and that short ass robe barely covered her pert ass….FUCK! Focus Whitlock, you're supposed to be pissed!

_I saw the light in your window tonight  
And I saw two shadows holding each other tight._

Well, that may be a chick singing, but it's spot on for my feelings tonight! "I THOUGHT I was going to be visiting my girlfriend earlier this evening, but apparently SOMETHING came up. I just didn't realize it was Doucheward's dick!"

She just stares at me, jaw slack and eyes wide as if she can't believe what I am saying. "Are you fucking kidding me Peter? You're here drinking and blasting your lights and music at my house because of Edward?!" She starts down her porch and is quickly in my face.

"What did you expect Is-a-bel-la?" I snarl at her, pronouncing each syllable of her name distinctly. "You expect me to say 'Oh you want to fuck Edweird now? Sure go ahead! Y'all go ahead and get married and have little curly haired, green eyed babies! I'll just sit over here and play stupid!' Well FUCK THAT!"

She jumps back at my last shout, her eyes still wide and brown and all innocent and ffffuuuuuuuck! I can't help but stare at her. She's so fucking beautiful and the only thing I really want to do now is take her to the bed of my truck and make love to her all night. NO! She's playing you, keep strong!

Her mouth closed and she's taking deep breaths through her nose. Fuck, now there's tears in her eyes. On don't cry! I can't take it when you cry!

"Do you really think so little of me Peter? Do you have so little trust in our love that you think I would cheat on you?"

I snort derisively. "You forget how small this fucking town is. And how spot on my instincts are. I've heard about you meeting him for coffee, at the library, the bookstore, hell at the FUCKING PARK! What do you expect me to think?!"

_I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then  
I wish I could start this whole thing over again_

Thanks Toby.

She closed her eyes, still breathing deeply. I know she's trying to gather her thoughts so I glance around the yard trying to distract myself. If I look back at her, I'm going to start begging her to take me back and leave this ass-hole in the dirt where he belongs. Then I hear it. No way, she couldn't possibly be…. The fuck, she's LAUGHING!

I turn back to her, my eyes wide and pissed. Why the hell is she laughing at me?! This is fucking serious! Good lord she's bent over with he hands on her knees laughing so hard. Maybe she's finally lost it? I always thought she was sane, but they always say it's the "normal" looking ones.

There's a noise at the doorway and I flash my glare over to the docuhebag that caused this problem. He probably told her some shit about me that's not true. Yeah, that's the only reason she would do this. I mean really, there's no comparison between us. He's gangly, pale, that stupid hair is annoying as fuck. I however am built, classic blonde hair, blue eyes and fabulous if I do say so myself!

He's eyeing Bella like you would a mental patient. Hell so am I. She finally catches her breath and wipes the tears from her eyes. "Oh Peter, your 'knower' is so freaking way off at this point, it's just freaking hilarious." Her body shakes with the aftershocks of her laughter and I can't tear my eyes from her.

_Laughin' and a runnin' hey hey  
Skippin' and a jumpin'  
In the misty mornin' fog  
With our hearts a-thumpin'_

_And you  
My brown eyed girl.  
You my, my brown eyed girl._

Those eyes hold me in a trance as she slowly approaches me. I feel my anger fade, my bravado diminish, and my heart starts to thump in earnest. All I want is her, in my arms, in my home, in my soul forever. Is that so much to ask?

Her hand touches my face and I lean my cheek into it. So soft, so warm. I am still staring into her eyes as she whispers to me the words that will seal our fate.

"I am not sleeping with Edward you jackass. I was helping him plan his proposal to Alice. If you listened to as much shit as you claim to, you would know they have been together forever and a day and he is going to propose to her. Alice is such a picky person that he wants it to be absolutely perfect and who better to help him plan it than her best friend?"

I close my eyes and hang my head in shame. I really am a flipping idiot. I knew Edward and Alice were together. I knew Bella would never do anything like that to me. And yet I was apt to listen to rumors and people like Charlotte and all those other gossip mongers. I let other people play on my insecurities because I was insecure. Bella was every man's dream woman and for some reason she decided that she wanted to be with me.

I really am an idiot.

"Damn it Bella, I'm sorry. I really am a fuckin' idiot"

She just smiles at me and says "Yes Petey, you are. Now shut this truck off and come inside so you can apologize to me. We'll talk about your idiocy more in the morning."

So I did.

Several times that early morning and once again that afternoon.

And the next night, I gave her the ring I had been carrying around in my pocket for a month looking for the words to say. And miracle of miracles she said yes.


End file.
